Appointment Viewing: February 6-February 13

Hi all! I hope you all enjoyed your Super Bowl. I know I sure enjoyed re-watching five episodes of Community. This week has the premiere of the possibly highly anticipated Smash and there should be plenty of Valentine’s Day episodes rolling in. Sadly, there’s no Parks and Rec. What could possibly fill the void? Here’s what we’ll be watching this week.

Monday

7:00 – The Rosie Show (OWN): Suze Orman guests. Yeeeees.

7:30 – Adventure Time (Cartoon Network): Jake’s dad presents a strange challenge to the guys when he appears to them in a holographic message. Well, that sounds awesome. If they’re slipping into a Star Wars motif, then I’m bummed it didn’t happen sooner.

8:00 – Gossip Girl (The CW): Blair wrestles with making a challenging decision about her future. Meanwhile, Georgina tracks a scandal; and Serena protects someone by accepting blame. I know there are a lot of Blair/Dan fans out there, so I feel bad about how much I don’t want that to happen. But, I don’t want that to happen. Also, I don’t get why Georgina is sticking around, but I’m glad Michelle Trachtenberg is getting those pay checks. And is Kristen Bell going to keep doing the voice of Gossip Girl? That would be weird.

8:30 – 2 Broke Girls (CBS): Max and Caroline try to get their neighbor to hire them as maids for her cleaning business. I guess they’ve already burned through every zany side project possible and now are just going to have them start applying for second jobs.

9:00 – Alcatraz (Fox): An Alcatraz guard resurfaces, and he encounters an old acquaintance. Riveting?

9:30 – Mike & Molly (CBS): Vince hits the roof when he learns that Joyce is planning a dinner date with an ex-boyfriend. I find the episodes where the A-plot isn’t about Mike and Molly to be extremely off-putting.

10:00 – Smash (NBC): In the series premiere of this musical drama about a group of people staging a Broadway show, a writing duo come up with the idea to base a show on Marilyn Monroe, and an experienced chorus girl competes against a promising newcomer for the lead role. I watched this pilot on Hulu. It’s pretty good.

Tuesday

7:00 – House of Anubis (Nickelodeon): The kids finish the spider-web task; Nina realizes she’s to blame for releasing Senkhara. Poor Nina.

7:30 – The Amazing World of Gumball (Cartoon Network): The guys wreck Mr. Robinson’s car by accident.

8:00 – 90210 (The CW): Annie organizes a charity event; Naomi takes a big risk to secure an event-planning client; Silver realizes she has unresolved feelings for Navid; and Vanessa promises Liam great success after his agent drops him. I’m hopeful about this episode because I feel like they’re always better when they figure out some big event for all of them. This show needs Dean Pelton’s All 5 Dances strategy.

9:00 – New Girl (Fox): Jess goes against Nick’s wishes when she makes it her mission to befriend the loft’s landlord, who’s notoriously cranky. In doing so, Jess inadvertently jeopardizes their living situation. Meanwhile, Schmidt is convinced that his boss is sending him mixed signals. That’s because your boss is sending you mixed signals, Schmidt.

9:30 – Raising Hope (Fox): So stressed out during tax season that he hires Barney to manage his finances, Burt blurts a hurtful remark about Virginia’s career, so she starts a new business as a tarot-card reader. Meanwhile, Jimmy wonders if Sabrina is moving to Africa with Wyatt. I’m confused about why Jimmy can’t just ask Sabrina, but Virginia being a tarot card reader sounds like a barrel of monkeys.

10:00 – White Collar (USA): Sparks fly when Neal teams up with his ex Sara to track down a missing Stradivarius. The mission offers Neal a glimpse into a different kind of life for himself. Ugh. How many times must this show insist I care about Sara? In other Matt Bomer news, he and Darren Criss are going to be singing Duran Duran on Glee. I wish it was something more adorable, but at least there’s a chance of shorts and tank-tops in pastel colors.

Wednesday

7:00 – House of Anubis (Nickelodeon): Alfie is thrilled to coach table tennis; Victor achieves progress with his task. That sounds incredibly low stakes! I’m in!

8:00 – American Idol (Fox): The Hollywood Round begins. That means things are going to get worse, but then slightly better.

9:00 – Modern Family (Fox): Phil’s preoccupation with a business opportunity blinds him to his new partner’s inappropriate behavior around Claire. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria may regret letting Mitchell and Cameron be their temporary house guests when their home is being fumigated. That doesn’t seem like the kind of thing you should regret. It’s just annoying for a few days and then it’s over.

9:30 – Happy Endings (ABC):  Valentine’s Day isn’t all hearts and flowers for the gang as Penny wants to break up with her boyfriend, Dave fears his girlfriend is getting ready to dump him and Brad’s plans for a perfect outing with Jane take a hit because of dental problems. Meanwhile, Alex, the gang’s expert on the holiday, searches for a party in a questionable neighborhood, and Max gets a surprise when his limo occupants include the guy he broke up with the previous Valentine’s Day. I can’t imagine a fate worse than having to listen to the Happy Endings gang be cynical about Valentine’s Day. No one has ever done that before!

10:00 – Revenge (ABC): Conrad’s father (William Devane) visits the Hamptons, and Victoria manages to use him as a pawn against Conrad. Meanwhile, Jack realizes he can’t sit on the sidelines; and Charlotte and Emily find themselves unprepared for the surprises they face.

Thursday

7:00 – House of Anubis (Nickelodeon): Mara gets expelled, but Mrs. Andrews stands up for her; Patricia uncovers a secret about Eddie. It seems like the key to House of Anubis descriptions is to have one fairly straightforward plot and then one incredibly vague plot.

8:00 – 30 Rock (NBC): Liz and Criss decide to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but purchasing a new dinner table is first on their agenda. Meanwhile, Jack spends time with his mother-in-law; Jenna anticipates her first live performance on “America’s Kidz Got Singing.” All of those sound mind-numbingly boring and why the fuck do I have to watch 30 Rock on a day when I don’t get any Parks and Rec?

9:00 – The Office (NBC): Dwight scores a special assignment at Sabre’s Florida headquarters. As a result, he and Andy must decide which Scranton staffers will join him. Elsewhere, Pam returns from maternity leave. Both of those sound like two second set ups rather than actual plots, so I guess this episode could really be about anything.

9:30 – Up All Night (NBC): Reagan and Chris miss the drama in their relationship after witnessing a passionate fight between Ava and Kevin. Well, that’s stupid.

10:00 – Archer (FX): Archer’s surprise birthday present—a high-tech “spy” car—leads to many other surprises, none of them good. What a quirky little description.

10:30 – Unsupervised (FX): Gary and Joel “defend” the local fire department by becoming arsonists. This show is still hanging in there, huh? Not cancelled yet? Go figure.

Midnight – Delocated (Cartoon Network): Jon buys something special for his new loft; the Mirminskys plot revenge.

Friday

1:30 – The Fresh Beat Band (Nickelodeon): The band try to reunite a prince and princess, but the princess develops a crush on Twist, which complicates things. That sounds incredibly cute! I want to pinch this episode’s little cheeks!

7:00 – House of Anubis (Nickelodeon): Alfie helps Jerome win a match; Victor has a setback; the kids discover Victor has an amulet. I hope they juxtapose a tennis game with something incredibly important. That shit is my joint.

8:00 – Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network): The plot to kidnap Chancellor Palpatine comes to fruition, and Obi-Wan and Anakin try to stop it. Are Obi-Wan and Anakin on the same side as Palpatine, then? If so, is Palpatine a good guy? Are Obi-Wan and Anakin evil? I apologize for my ignorance! But I don’t apologize for hoping that Palpatine and Anakin have as much awesome sexual tension as they had in Revenge of the Sith. Am I right? I am not.

9:00 – Grimm (NBC): A trail of homicides puts Nick and Hank in pursuit of a deadly heartbreaker; Nick’s rising stature in the creature world prompts concerns about Juliette’s safety. All of these descriptions always sound the same. That’s what they get for taking the delightful idea of fairy tales and then saying to themselves, “What if we made it a procedural so that it could be the most boring thing in the world?”

10:00 – Portlandia (IFC): A Portland band decide they need a gimmick, so they enlist a new member and pick up an over-the-top groupie. This episode is going to feature lovely ladies Miranda July, Kristen Wiig and Amber Tamblyn.

10:30 – The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (IFC): In the Season 2 finale, Todd is in for the fight of his life as he goes on trial with only Brent to defend him, and the friendly witnesses he lines up to testify do more harm than good. Meanwhile, Alice uncovers evidence that could clear their names. Wow, this show had a tiny little season. I guess I get it. They’ve definitely hit a point where it would be hard to top what they’ve done so far.

Saturday

10:30 AM – My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (The Hub): The ponies concoct a love potion for Miss Cheerilee and Big Macintosh, but they find themselves unprepared for the adverse effects. By having them all play matchmaker for some other couple it really avoids the real issue of how the ponies would pair up amongst themselves for Valentine’s Day. Or would Rainbow Dash just make dates with all of them?

8:00 – Victorious (Nickelodeon): There isn’t a description available, but the episode is called “The Worst Couple”, so that sounds like good times.

8:30 – How to Rock (Nickelodeon): This episode is called “How to Rock a Guest List.” Are they going to put every episode title in that format? How to Rock, I really suggest you learn from Shake It Up’s mistakes and refrain from doing that.

11:30 – Saturday Night Live (NBC): Zooey Deschanel hosts. Music guest: Karmin. I’m excited. If they do a New Girl sketch, then Fred can be Nick because of his love of flannel, Bill can be Schmidt because he’s also beautiful, Jay can be Winston and Nasim can be CeCe because Hannah Simone is her exact double.

Sunday

7:30 – The Cleveland Show (Fox): Donna recruits Cleveland Jr. to be her partner for Stoolbend’s annual ballroom-dancing contest, and he responds by telling her that he’s in love with her. Meanwhile, Roberta babysits Rallo for a week and learns a lesson about domestic responsibilities. Oh, mommy issues. Does anything make for better television? The answer is no.

8:00 – The Simpsons (Fox): On Valentine’s Day, Lisa and an intellectual young man named Nick share a fairy-tale romance and make a secret getaway. Meanwhile, Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage (“Mythbusters”) inspire Bart and Milhouse to bust Springfield Elementary School myths. Unsurprisingly, Nick is going to be played by Michael Cera.

8:30 – Napoleon Dynamite (Fox): Deb tries to save the struggling school paper by interviewing school president Pedro, but her article lands him in hot water and threatens their friendship. This episode should be pretty good since Deb is the best character.

9:00 – Family Guy (Fox): Peter heads to Hollywood with his favorite actor—Quahog newsanchor Tom Tucker, who once played a killer in a slasher flick—to try to reinvigorate Tom’s career. Meanwhile, Chris falls for a girl who looks just like the girl who married dear old dad. Does that mean she looks just like Lois? That’s a very convoluted way of saying that.

9:30 – American Dad! (Fox): Stan joins Steve and Roger’s make-believe detective agency, but Stan proves to be an incompetent fake sleuth, and Roger demands that Steve fire him. He won’t do it. Then Stan is kidnapped. Mmkaaaaaaaaaay.

10:00 – Comic Book Men (AMC): A look at life in and around a New Jersey comic-book store begins with manager Walt challenging the staff to a sales competition at a flea market. Later, customers bring some interesting items into to the shop. AMC shows and things involving Kevin Smith range from great to horrible, so this show is sort of a wild card from my perspective.